Some Things I've Learned Along The Way --Part Three
If you missed Part One and Part Two, please take a look at the following links:
Some Things I've Learned Along The Way --Part One:
Some Things I've Learned Along The Way --Part Two:
4) Listen To What The Stories Are Trying To Tell You.
What is this story trying to tell me? Well first, there's always more to any story. In Part Two, I left off with sharing a message that my cousin Lee Moss sent me. If you are late to this storyline, I'll fill you in that Lee is the son of Rudi Moss who is my mother's first cousin. Rudi's father was Rudolph Henry Harrison who was one my maternal grandfather's brothers. My Harrison family line came from New Bern, NC.
Here's how we are all connected:
Rudolph Henry Harrison, Lee's grandfather, enlisted with the Airforce when he was a young man. He was an engineer surveyor stationed at Fairford Airbase in Fairford, England. Rudolph married Gloria Thacker in 1952 and they welcomed a son to the world, Rudi, that same year. Rudolph returned to the United States in 1953 leaving his wife and child behind in England. Rudi grew up without every seeing a picture of his father.
Back in 2012, I thought that the reason for Rudi and I finding each other through the internet was so that Rudi could at last have a picture of his father. He could know that he had kin in the U.S. and and that he had deep North Carolina roots. I thought he would share that information with his kids and grandkids so they too would know about their roots.
When Lee reached out and contacted me I quickly learned that the family information was not shared. I learned that in a sense that a cycle of abandonment that began with Rudolph Harrison and his son had repeated itself with Rudi and his kids. But why? How could this be? I would think that if I were abandoned by my own father I would hold the privilege of being a parent near and dear to my heart. I would be there in whatever way possible for my kids. Not talking to them or being a part of their lives could simply not be an option. Period.
But that's me. I can't speak for anyone else.
This story has reaffirmed my belief that...
My husband and I are committed to each other and we are intending to be in it for the long haul. However, we have discussed that no matter what happens between us, our commitment to our children is for life. That means being there. That means keeping the avenues of communication open even when times are difficult.
5) If you are kin, I will not remove your name from my family tree, so don't ask.
I forgot that Ancestry.com sends out an auto-generated email to those you have invited to view your tree when a new person has been added to that tree. After Lee contacted me I updated my tree to include him and his sister Nicola, as well as their families. Rudi was one of my invitees. A short time after I made those additions, he emailed requesting that I remove the names of certain folks from my tree. I was kind of taken aback from his request. I didn't understand how someone could think removing names from a family tree was okay. Whether you get along with someone or not does not change the fact you are related.
I'm still processing my feelings regarding all this. I have to say I feel sad for all those involved. Parents and children need each other. A child needs love and guidance no matter what age. At the same time, I can't even begin to tell you how much my children have taught me about myself. They guide me as I guide them.
To be continued...